Pride Center Message Boards

jmp2005 · Joined: 08 Jan 2005 Posts: 25

Hi I have read the topics in this section and the replies and most of the advice was good, so I am hoping to get some good advice. I am in my early thirties and have been single for about 18 months. And now my Ex. wants me back. I should explain this whole thing so those who read this understand. about 8 years ago I met this guy in a club, and we hooked up but it wasnt supposed to be anything more than a 1 or 2 night stand,well he really fell for me and I guess I fell for him as the time went on, after about 1 month I moved in with him, and 3 months later he was offered a job in Texas so I packed up and left with him, of course my parents and the rest of my family just about disowned me, it was alot for them to swallow as I came out to the family about 2 weeks before I met him, well we found a small house to rent there, and I was only able to get fast food jobs and was a waiter for the last 2 years I lived there, as I had no schooling or anything, well for the first 2 years together everything was great,he made good money we eventually bought the house we were renting and he surprised me on our 2 year anniversary with a newer car, I was driving a 88 ford tempo and he bought me a 96 Ford T-Bird then something happened, he became very jealous, when I worked at 1 of the fast food places, I met alot of guys and girls that were around my age and we enjoyed the same stuff, now only 2 of the guys were gay, but they were dating each other, and werent my type so I never looked at them as guys to mess around with, now Don was about 2 years older than me, and he began driving me to work and picking me up, when he was off, and days that he wasnt off he would still check up on me while he was working, either by stopping by or calling. this went on for over a year, it got so bad that he got me fired and he took the key to my car took my credit cards, and never let me go anywhere alone,I would threaten to leave him but he just made things worse, so I started overdosing on his sleeping pills, I was put in a rehab, and after being there for about 4 months, he came to visit one day and 1 of the workers was trying to console me as I was having a bad day, and he saw this and immediately took me home, saying that this guy was tring to rape me, this guy was straight. Once home he seemed to have changed for the first 3 weeks, we were sleeping together and things seemed better, well one day he told me to go into the spare bedroom to look for something, so I did, and he locked me in there, he had placed a bottole of sleeping pills in clear view and a glass of what I thought was water but it was vodka, I downed 6 pills and the vodka and when I woke up I was in the room but strapped to a hospital bed, well i came to find out that while I was gone he met a few people in clubs that enjoyed a master/slave relationship, and I found myself his new slave, now I never had to do anything like lick boots,or clean house, as I was always tied up, physically and mentally abused, well one evening as I was in the room he had a party with masters and slaves and one of the slaves came into the room I was in mistaking it for the bedroom, found me ungagged me and we chatted for a few before he had to leave so he put the gag back promising to come back before leaving which he did, he loosened the ropes,and gave me his number to call him the next day as he was his masters live in houseboy/slave,so when Don left I got loose showered since it had been months,yeah disgusting huh, and I called him,this guy came over picked me up and told me he only did this because I wasnt a willing slave. He took me back to his masters home and called his master and explained the situation, even though he thought he would be punished, the master came home and we chatted, and he felt the same way as his boy did, and allowed me to stay there for awhile, well this guy and Don had a chatt, and he encouraged Don to get help, for about 6 months he was in a mental hospital, and then he came back home and we were together again, well after more time with him I decided I wasnt in love with him anymore, and broke up,he of course was in denial and had no idea why I would leave him, I got a temporary job and made enough money to fly back to Buffalo and to find a place to live, and got another fast food job, but was promoted to assistant manager and began to start living, and for the last 18 months I have had fun being single, made up with my family have a decent job am going to night school have a decent car lots of friends with benefits, but around xmas he managed to get my number from my parents, and now he wants me back, he has sent me flowers,candy, and even last week called me and told me to look out my window, and I saw a 2004 black PT cruiser with a bow around it, that somehow from texas he bought it and had it delivered, it is still in the road as I dont want it, though I love pt cruisers, He sold the house to buy it for me, I dont want to go back, but I just want advice on how to tell him to leave me alone, or what to do if he doesnt, he seems to be very fragile and suicidal, as his letters have said, he could be using that to try and trick me, as I have always tried to make others happy, but that was the old me, now its about me, I want to be happy, I may sound selffish but I have learned that I need to be happy before trying to make others happy.
any and all advice would be appreciated

beggin4it · Joined: 26 Nov 2004 Posts: 18

Whoa dude that is something, there are some people who would love to be in your situation, ok well just to get a free car, Like you said its about you now and if he isnt part of the new you then you need to tell him to get the hell away from you, before you know it he will be stalking you and then more serious things might happen, he is probably in the Buffalo area as I write this,you may need to get the police involved, and for him being suicidal, I guess if he succeeds then he isnt going to bother you anymore, yes I realize that sounds bad, but I think he is just saying that as a way to get to you, stay strong and look over your shoulder, he might be there, if he is sit him down tell him how it is, if he is a man he will deal with it, if not you might have to get a restraining order
Good luck Laughing