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Don’t Let Your Resolve Dissolve
 By: Anne Hartley Pfohl, MSEd, ABD

There’s no magic in New Year’s resolutions – we’ve all made and broken enough of them to know that’s true. Effective and lasting change, whether we begin January 1st or any other day, takes time, planning and effort to enact. And when we promise ourselves – or others – that we will change, we need to remember that the transformation, whatever shape it takes, may give some immediate or short term benefits, but, in the end, happens more slowly and over the long haul.

So, how to make this year’s resolution more effective than year’s past? I suggest you use the KISS method. Now, for some of us, that acronym may translate to “Keep It Simple Stupid.” It can also be broken down another way – “Know thy self, Implement, Stick, and Survey/Strategize.” This KISS method might keep your resolve from dissolving:

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Know thy self, and Knit together a plan. How do you usually deal with change? Is it hard for you? Do you embrace it as exciting? Do you poop out early in the game? Understand your personal style when it comes to change, and incorporate that knowledge into creating an effective plan that accounts for your quirks and foibles. Any changes you make need to fit in and work with who you are and your life as it is today. That’s why a plan is important. “I want to be healthier in the New Year” is a good goal, but it’s a little too general. Taking action requires specifics. Does getting “healthier” mean changing your diet and eating habits? Becoming more active? Both? What are the specific steps you are willing to take to make these changes? Look at your daily or weekly routine, and plug things in so they fit and are workable. If your plan calls for some big overhauls to your entire routine, then you may be setting yourself up to not follow through in the long run.

Next, Implement your plan. Mary Poppins says, “Once begun is half done,” and waiting for the perfect day, the right mood, or the new moon is just one of many delay tactics. Any journey we take begins with the first step, and any step we take, no matter how small, is measurable progress. Mark Twain wrote, “Habit is habit, and not to be thrown out the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs one step at a time.” So put your plan into action, take that first step, and then another, and another…

Once you’ve started, Stick with it. In order for new behavior to become everyday habit, we must enact it with relative consistency over at least a 30 day period. Being willing to stay engaged in the process of change is one of your best strategies for ultimate success. Even with all the interruptions, delays, and serious bouts of the “I-Don’t-Wanna-Gottas” stay willing,and invested in your plan. If you don’t get on the cycle or go for that walk on Tuesday, do it Wednesday. If you smoke on Thursday, remember that you only had half a cigarette, you didn’t smoke again for the rest of the day, and look to tomorrow as a fresh start. Even if you shout, growl, or snap at a loved one, you can stop yourself, apologize, and move on! You have to stay in it to win it.

Survey your progress, and Strategize to revise your plan as needed. How are you doing? Are things working for you? If not, why not? Go back to K and look at your plan, your schedule, and your life. Even while you’re trying to make this change, other things are changing too. You may need to rework aspects of your plan, make a new schedule or revise your strategies. Being willing to revise your plan insures that you will stay on track and reach your goal.

I have two more cautions for you. Do your best not to let guilt and self-flagellation enter into the change process. Resolutions are not just another thing to beat yourself up about. Getting down on yourself every time you don’t go to the gym, or have a cigarette, or lose your patience with your 8-year-old (or your partner who is acting like an 8-year-old) makes the whole process of change more of a chore. Be patient and gentle with yourself, and remember that you won’t do it perfectly.

Finally, reward yourself for your successes. Don’t wait until you lose all that weight to buy yourself something nice or get a make over. Have your hair done, get a massage, or take yourself to the movies. Find ways to remind yourself what a great job your doing – preferably that don’t undermine the progress you’ve made!

   

 

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